Me and poptarts.
The CDC has put together a great list of how characters in disaster movies should have reacted. From Twister to Dante’s Peak, it’s full of life-saving, completely obvious tips.
My favorite comes from Independence Day:
After downing an alien fighter plane that has separated from the mother ship, Captain Steven Hiller (Will Smith) foolishly approaches the downed plane, unarmed, only to find that the alien pilot is still alive. Smith’s character punches the alien in the face, quipping “welcome to Earth.”
In case of an alien invasion, do not attempt to save humankind all by yourself. If an alien asks you to take it to your leader, buy yourself some time by showing it a Lady Gaga music video and dial 9-1-1 while it watches. In the event an international strike force by our world’s greatest celebrity action heroes cannot prevail against the alien fleet, then…well…might as well just sit back and relax with another good disaster movie as you wait for our new alien overlords to tell us what to do.